Do you care about someone? Have you told them?
Telling someone you care about how important they are too you might be something you think you do every day that you interact with them, cry with them, or even laugh with them, but let me tell you that THAT is not “telling them.”
I learned the hard way when I received my letter from my mom, telling me what she thought of how I turned out. Yes, a voice from the grave! I was apprehensive, yet so curious, I couldn’t wait to open it and read every word. What could she say? What would she say? What would I think? Did I want to know? These were just a few of the thoughts that raced through my mind. But what she said was the greatest gift she could have left me. She covered numerous childhood times together, how proud she was of me and my accomplishments. There was even a section on her thoughts around some of my decisions, and she even included things she hoped I would continue to do. She share her disappointments, not of me, but of her raising of us. Even her hopes for my future and most importantly her belief that I was special and loved my entire life.
I don’t know about you but those things don’t normally come up in everyday conversation.
Many of my clients say that they have a hard time expressing their feelings in the moment, and I can tell you that I am right there with them. My best intentions of sharing my thoughts ultimately became fleeting and the nerve to continue leaves me, so the conversations never occur. It’s scary…being vulnerable and afraid that something might be misinterpreted or worse yet, become a disagreement or your good intentions backfires.
The good news about the letters you write to each of those you care about most, is that it will stay with them forever. Yes, something they can read over and over again and most importantly it will give them a chance to “feel” you are in the room with them all over again. It brings warm-fuzzies, smiles and memories that will last a lifetime.
After I completed writing THE BOOK, I realized that everything was complete in my personal book, except the personal letters I needed to write. I sat, staring at a blank screen more times that I would like to admit, but finally, on a flight back from Seattle to Philly I found that I had 5+ hours of uninterrupted time. I opened my laptop and faced down that blank screen, when suddenly the words, emotions, and passion started gushing out. I typed with determination, not wanting to let the moment, the thoughts and memories pass. I wrote, I cried, I re-read, I cried, I laughed. Finally, the woman sitting next to me inched farther and farther away from me as I used the cocktail napkin to wipe the tears that were streaming down my cheeks…but I continued. By the time we landed, I had letters written to everyone that played an important part of my life. They are now safely locked away in THE BOOK, and will be reviewed yearly to see if there are additions or changes that need to occur.
Finally, here’s the thing about telling someone how much they mean to you: You have to do it. It’s often scary, it’s sometimes risky, but it’s always necessary. So just Tell ’em, you’ll feel really good that you did.
As always, if you need help I am only an email away.
Carlene
